Being Solution-Focused

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got" (O'Connell, 2005, p. 45)

What a great dictum! Where's it from? Well, it's the Mental Research Institute's perspective that if you're always doing what you do now, how can you expect to change? In order to get a different outcome, you have to apply yourself differently than you've been doing thus far. 

So many people it in their mind that 'If it doesn't work, I gotta keep trying', or 'Be persistent, the more you try, the better the outcome'. It might be intuitive to say that this might be true for some things and not for others, but I'll challenge you to really think about that... If you're always doing what you've always done, can you really expect to get the result you need or want? 

Some might say, 'Well it's the law of attraction [a 'law' I'm not sure is a law in the proper sense - not in psychology, nor in many other scientific disciplines]. If I keep thinking positive and do the same thing I'll get a great result in the end!'

The person that says this might say that if they keep applying for new jobs using the same resume and cover letter template (we've all done that!)  and if I think positively about it I'll definitely get a job out of it in the end. Right? Wrong!

I think that if you change things up when things aren't working well you'll get a wider range of results than initially thought. Take the resume example... If you think about how organisations hire and know a thing or two about the process you'll know that (generally) the first thing they do when they want a position filled is look within the company. What do they do next? They might correspond with other organisations that could offer a thing or two in the way of what they want. Then they look to dedicated recruitment companies. Lastly, they post an ad detailing the position. Why? Because they don't want to spend money. Hiring through recruitment agencies requires money. So does posting an ad. 

On the flip-side, what do you and I do when we apply for jobs? We go straight to the job sites and look there. The last thing we might do (most of us anyway) is go direct to the company any enquire. 

So how can we apply this to being solution-focused? Well, if the only thing you're doing is sending through resumes day after day hoping for the best, you might be well disappointed. What you could do is try something new. Try looking into the company first. Learn about them. Get to know who you need to speak to. Call. Visit. Etc. Etc.

The above was just an example I thought I'd run with because it highlights fairly easily that we generally won't always get what we want or need if we keep doing the same things. What I want to do now is apply this to somebody that might be suffering from mental health issues.

How can this apply?

Well, being solution focused is much more than the above example. It's a paradigm shift. A way of thinking that drastically changes your way of thinking up until this moment. 

To be solution focused is to try to understand what you're feeling at this moment and put a name to it. To understand that your problem is outside of yourself, and it's something that can hopefully be grappled with. It's looking for exceptions to behaviours rather than concentrating solely on the deficits in your life at the moment. It's setting yourself goals, and trying to achieve them day by day. It's noticing where things aren't working and trying to put a name to that; to understand that what you might be doing up until that point wasn't giving you the best results and remedying it!

Well that was a mouthful. I'll try slow it down now by making use of a metaphor used before by a solution-focussed therapist (O'Connell, 2005). Let's talk about islands!

Picture yourself on an island - it's called Problem Island (PI)! Now this island is located near another island that tends to be closer or further away depending on your mood at that moment. It's called Solution Island (SI). You know each and every piece of PI and other people know that you're on it. Sometimes you spend most your time there not even caring that people are missing you on Everyday Land (EL). But you can't seem to 'snap out of it'. You are in your own head and don't see yourself getting to SI and then to EL eventually. 

So what do you do? You can choose to stay on PI (if 'choose' is the right word) or look for ways to get off. What can you do to check into SI? You might look around PI and see that there's a paddleboat tied to a stump on the shore of the beach. It looks old, and SI is pretty far away now so you're not sure you're going to make it. Are you going to take the chance? Or will you wait for another day when you're feeling a little lighter and SI seems closer?

Keep in mind that SI isn't a place that you'll always be on. You'll generally go back and forth, but reaching out is the initial step. You just got to ask whether you'll do it...

Now, staying with that metaphor I'll try break it down further. You might be struggling with anxious thoughts. They're so deep that they have a hold on you and you can't really separate yourself from them. They've been with you for so long that you and they are one. How can you possibly 'choose' to give them up? It's not really that easy is it?

Well, no of course not! What is most helpful is to understand what you're dealing with. To know that this problem is not you, but rather an aspect that's related to you that you can try to remedy. 

You look at where you've failed in the past (i.e. failed solutions). Say you've tried to get along with your parents, but they haven't really been responding and that's brought you deeper and deeper into where you are now. 

Well what can you do next?

One way might be to ask yourself what things'll be like if you woke up tomorrow where a miracle happened in your life, and your problems had dissipated - what would be different (i.e. the miracle question)? The more you understand where your, say, anxious feeling are coming from, and how things would look like if things better themselves, the better equipped you are to see where to proceed from there. 

You could try rating your immediate feelings out of ten (i.e. using scaling questions). 'How am I feeling this morning as I got out of bed? What number would I rate myself [1 being the worst I've ever been, and 10 being the best I've ever been]? How is this different to yesterday morning? How can I reach the next number? What would I have to do?'

What this does is set the stage to knowing yourself. To knowing where you are, and where you'd like to be. It also allows you to think about what you might be able to do so that you can get where you want to be.

Finally, you can ask yourself at what times have you not felt like you did now. How were things different then? How are things now? Once you understand that you might not always have felt the way you feel today, you'll be better equipped to understand that you're NOT the problem you're dealing with. It wasn't always with you, and there might be something that you can do to find a potential solution.

So there, a few little tips (that I'll summarise below and add a cautionary statement later) that could aid you in your search for solutions!

1. If you do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got! Do something different!

2. Understand your surroundings and know that your problem is not YOU. There is another island, so to speak, that you can try and travel to.

3. Look at where you've failed and see if you can understand how this happened. Try not repeat failed solutions.

4. Ask yourself what'll be different if you woke up tomorrow without the problem badgering you. This creates a greater self awareness.

5. Rate your experience. When you understand what you're feeling, you might be better inclined to see where you want to be and what can be done to get you there.

6. Find exceptions! When you identify exceptions in your life you can further objectify the problem and see that YOU are NOT the problem, but only someone that is struggling with a problem.

I'd like to add that these tips are taken from solution-focused therapeutic techniques and work best alongside a qualified counsellor. If you feel that you can't cope as best as you'd like given your experience I'd urge you to take counsel with another person, or find a counsellor or psychologist so that you might be on your way to recovery. 

References

O'Connell, B. (2005). The first session. In Solution-focused therapy (2nd. ed., pp. 37-63). London, England: Sage Publications.

Images retrieved from:

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2012/07/10/1226422/110457-happy-generic.jpg

http://gid.unep-wcmc.org/images/Global_islands.jpg

http://twocanview.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/thinking-man.jpg

http://www.careerealism.com/home/jtodonnell/careerealism.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/online-resume-samples.jpg

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